Well, first I think I'll start out by saying this: fuck biology. Biology pisses me the hell off like no class I can remember.
Maybe it's wrong of me to like to think of myself as anything more than a walking, talking hunk of meat. In reality, I think I can honestly say that I am more than just another animal on this planet. But no, biology, you insist that I'm on par with creatures such as coral, dung beetles, and three toed-sloths. And while I do enjoy the sight of a good three-toed sloth, I don't think that we are what can be considered equal in terms of a whole lot of anything. I mean, sure we share some things in common: hair, eyeballs, a mouth, the occasional vagina or penis (which is probably much larger than mine), and of course a brain. My problem with biology is that I think it undermines everything about life and why I live. If I'm just another animal, why do I bother living? As with other animals, I'll likely not make any contribution at all to existence nor will I have any kind of significance at all when time is reflected upon. Wow, life really doesn't seem worth living anymore. Thanks, biology, you heartless bitch.
Not only this, I'm not big on believing evolution. I don't find anything even remotely appealing about the theory of evolution; oh and it IS just a theory, not a "principal" as my asshole of a textbook claims it to be since it's so "widely accepted by a majority of scientists worldwide." Know what, biology textbook? Eat shit, that's what. I can convince the entire world that basketball is a game invented by the Great Tofu People of Virginia from the year 12-whore-98 under the influence of a hot, spicy boner but that doesn't make it true does it? Of course not and I'm sure that fuckhell biologists would be among the first to point it out to me.
My textbook pisses me off so damn much that I just want to bite my lungs out then choke myself with them. For one, it has the nerve to call evolution a "principal" merely on the basis that some people accept it as truth. Then it has the nerve to get all preachy about how humans are threatening the stability of the planet by the way we alter other ecosystems for our own selfish means (a big example in the book was the estimated rate of 400 species being put to extinction each day). Hm, is it just me or does Mr. Biology undermine his own theory of evolution? Or is it now acceptable to hold a species to a double standard, even if we ARE just animals? You see, I was always taught that part of evolution included the "survival of the fittest." "Survival of the fittest" reasoning says that only the strong survive while the weak die off due to being incapable of sustaining life under present conditions. If this really is part of evolution, and we humans are just animals, then doesn't it make perfect sense that all these other animals are being killed off by us? Hell, we're the strongest, they're the weakest- let the motherfuckers die, we don't need them. It's the natural thing to do. But no, biology, you insist that even if we are no more than any other animal in existence, it is still our responsibility to babysit all the other animals.
Hold up here, folks, biology isn't done not-making-sense just quite yet. Well, actually this is directed toward the lovely people who wrote/published/shat out my $117 biology book (which, for $117, should get me off every time I turn a page). I'm supposed to conserve trees and plants and blah blah blah, but you don't? I say this because as numerous professors here at college have stated, it is completely unnecessary to publish edition after edition of the same damn text. Switching the order of chapters doesn't constitute making more books. Sure, I kill a tree or two with my paper consumption but not nearly as many trees as you hypocritical arseholes do by pinching off all these damn biology textbooks. Ah, now let us ask ourselves why a company would bother to shell out all these editions of the same book hm? It's simple really. If edition one of book A sold well, we'll make it again so that book B sells well too (even though schools don't really need to re-buy them, they do anyway) and we get more money, yaaaaay! Alright conservation-crazy biologists, you just not only killed off another 19 acres of rainforest for books, you killed off another 19 acres to make paper money with! KICK ASS!!!!!!!!!!
So to the hypocritical dicks at McGraw-Hill, thanks for the following: a) attempting to strip life of its significance and meaning, b) trying to slap the face of all who do not accept evolution as truth, and c) painting a wonderful picture of the kind of hypocrisy that's running the state of the world straight to hell.
Thursday, September 07, 2006
Monday, April 24, 2006
The solution to all of your problems.
I figured it out today. What did I figure out you ask? EVERYTHING.
Every question you've ever needed the answer to, I have the answer for.
So allow me to introduce to you the PERFECT solution for all of your problems: suicide.
So you're not sure how suicide is the answer to all of life's questions, eh? Well allow me to give you a few examples.
Pregnant? Hell, nothing says suicide like pregnancy. Come on, be honest with yourself here: you're not ready to have children. In fact, you'll probably one of the shittiest parents in the world. Plus if you have a kid and it pisses me off, I'll be coming to your house to stomp your ass, and that'd be even WORSE than suicide. No one wants me to deliver an ass beating after their stupid-shit kid gets on my nerves. NO ONE.
This one is to help all of my fellow seniors out there: can't get accepted to college? Eh, to hell with all of it. If you can't get accepted at some college or other post-secondary school, you're probably just destined for failure and no one wants a life like that. So just end it and save your parents a lot of money. If you kill yourself now, they'll have plenty of money for your funeral! You've always wanted a fancy funeral didn't you? Of course you did. You're an asshole. You ought to just kill yourself for wanting an expensive funeral anyway. Jeez...quit being such a spoiled little brat. Once you're dead you won't give a damn about your funeral anyway. The best way to do it in this case is to drown yourself in the ocean that way there will be no physical part of you left for anyone to bury. At least you'll have done something right.
If you're an asshole that writes hit lists and drops them around at school to create semi-disorder: death is the only option for you. No, really. What the hell are you trying to prove anyway? If you're going to go nuts and attack our school, man up and do it you pussy. Don't tease me by pretending. Which brings me to another point: why am I not on the hit list(s)? I make it a point to be a dickhead to as many people as I possibly can yet I don't make it onto some piss-ant's hit list? Must be a moron writing the list. In all honesty, if you're going to shoot up the school, why reveal it to everyone and draw all of this attention to the idea? Do you want caught that badly? You're making me ask too many questions and thus you should do the right thing and answer them all for me. With a single gunshot. Directed at yourself. With suicide- the solution to all of your problems.
Know what? To hell with it all. EVERYONE should commit suicide and solve EVERY problem in the world. With no one left, there will be no one to start shit. And with no one left, I'll be able to roam the earth as I please and do what I want without people pissing me off- which should be a crime punishable by execution...legally I mean. Just because executing those who piss me off isn't legal doesn't mean I'm not allowed to do it.
Remember- I write the rules, I break the rules.
***just so you know, I'm not planning on EVER killing ANYONE...so don't kick me out of school for fuck's sake.
Every question you've ever needed the answer to, I have the answer for.
So allow me to introduce to you the PERFECT solution for all of your problems: suicide.
So you're not sure how suicide is the answer to all of life's questions, eh? Well allow me to give you a few examples.
Pregnant? Hell, nothing says suicide like pregnancy. Come on, be honest with yourself here: you're not ready to have children. In fact, you'll probably one of the shittiest parents in the world. Plus if you have a kid and it pisses me off, I'll be coming to your house to stomp your ass, and that'd be even WORSE than suicide. No one wants me to deliver an ass beating after their stupid-shit kid gets on my nerves. NO ONE.
This one is to help all of my fellow seniors out there: can't get accepted to college? Eh, to hell with all of it. If you can't get accepted at some college or other post-secondary school, you're probably just destined for failure and no one wants a life like that. So just end it and save your parents a lot of money. If you kill yourself now, they'll have plenty of money for your funeral! You've always wanted a fancy funeral didn't you? Of course you did. You're an asshole. You ought to just kill yourself for wanting an expensive funeral anyway. Jeez...quit being such a spoiled little brat. Once you're dead you won't give a damn about your funeral anyway. The best way to do it in this case is to drown yourself in the ocean that way there will be no physical part of you left for anyone to bury. At least you'll have done something right.
If you're an asshole that writes hit lists and drops them around at school to create semi-disorder: death is the only option for you. No, really. What the hell are you trying to prove anyway? If you're going to go nuts and attack our school, man up and do it you pussy. Don't tease me by pretending. Which brings me to another point: why am I not on the hit list(s)? I make it a point to be a dickhead to as many people as I possibly can yet I don't make it onto some piss-ant's hit list? Must be a moron writing the list. In all honesty, if you're going to shoot up the school, why reveal it to everyone and draw all of this attention to the idea? Do you want caught that badly? You're making me ask too many questions and thus you should do the right thing and answer them all for me. With a single gunshot. Directed at yourself. With suicide- the solution to all of your problems.
Know what? To hell with it all. EVERYONE should commit suicide and solve EVERY problem in the world. With no one left, there will be no one to start shit. And with no one left, I'll be able to roam the earth as I please and do what I want without people pissing me off- which should be a crime punishable by execution...legally I mean. Just because executing those who piss me off isn't legal doesn't mean I'm not allowed to do it.
Remember- I write the rules, I break the rules.
***just so you know, I'm not planning on EVER killing ANYONE...so don't kick me out of school for fuck's sake.
Wednesday, April 19, 2006
I now respect police again.
....check out this frickin' awesome video of a typical arrogant asshole acting tough with police. Unlike those pussies on COPS, this guy didn't take any shit. We need more ass-kicking cops like this. There'd be a lot less jackasses running around town acting like "thugs" if ALL the police would do this. I swear, every time I see some skinny-ass white kid wearing a heavy winter coat (a big white Parka for instance), a white baseball cap turned somewhat sideways, and a pair of South Pole jeans hanging below his asscrack, I just want to go ape-shit and stomp some ass straight into the ground. Dickheads anyway...
Bastards.
Who the hell do they think they are running around like they own the place?
Loud-mouthed oafs.
I hate them. I hate them all and I'd like to erase them from my midst.
Same goes for those weightlifters that walk around with thier man-tits, I'm sorry, "pecs" held up high like people are impressed. Wow, you made your pectoral muscles bulge in a way that looks like you have a huge tumor in your chest? Congratulations! I wish I could do that. You know what? Your muscles may be huge, but unless you're going to use them for something, what does it matter? All you're doing is taking up space. MY space. Oooh, yo bitches, check out mah gunzzz!! Any broad willing to throw herself at you for the false sense of security you provide for her with your body mass is a douchehole anyway. I hate shallow girls like that. Get over yourself big-guy, there will always be someone out there with bigger, more powerful muscles than you. Failures.
Oh look at me I got off track.
Until I update again, here's the awesome video.
Bastards.
Who the hell do they think they are running around like they own the place?
Loud-mouthed oafs.
I hate them. I hate them all and I'd like to erase them from my midst.
Same goes for those weightlifters that walk around with thier man-tits, I'm sorry, "pecs" held up high like people are impressed. Wow, you made your pectoral muscles bulge in a way that looks like you have a huge tumor in your chest? Congratulations! I wish I could do that. You know what? Your muscles may be huge, but unless you're going to use them for something, what does it matter? All you're doing is taking up space. MY space. Oooh, yo bitches, check out mah gunzzz!! Any broad willing to throw herself at you for the false sense of security you provide for her with your body mass is a douchehole anyway. I hate shallow girls like that. Get over yourself big-guy, there will always be someone out there with bigger, more powerful muscles than you. Failures.
Oh look at me I got off track.
Until I update again, here's the awesome video.
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