What the hell is a TomKat?

Tom "Cruise" (real name: Thomas Cruise Mapother IV) and Katie Holmes (real name: Kate Noelle) got married recently, on November 18. Woopee! Who really cares that these two got married? Oooh you two got married in a Scientology ceremony in a castle in Italy? I admit, that would be impressive, but you lost my interest at "Scientology."

Scientology, what a joke. A religion you have to pay to be a part of that believes aliens have created all of our reality by forcing our "thetans" (think, spirits) to watch movies of propaganda to control us. Enter L. Ron Hubbard, a science fiction writer. Thank God (who, according to Scientology, does not exist) L. Ron Hubbard was born to figure all of this out! Here's how it goes: an evil galactic space ruler named Xenu got pissed because he was about to be removed from power and decided to rid his territory of its excess population. Xenu told a bunch of people that they were being summoned for "income tax inspections" and when they arrived he injected them with some shit that paralyzed them. After stacking the bodies around the base of some volcanoes, Xenu dropped hydrogen bombs into the volcanoes and blew all the people's bodies up (a few survived though, which is where the clusters of spirits went to occupy after they were forced to watch the 36-day 3-D space movie I mentioned earlier). Thankfully, the Loyal Officers (the good guys) finally got off their asses and captured Xenu; then they locked Xenu away in a mountain where he is kept locked up by a force field powered by an eternal battery.
Seriously. People believe this shit. This is why celebrities are to be ignored when they talk about politics, or anything else for that matter- they're retarded.

So Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes are the ones who have it all figured out apparently. As for me, I'm going to release Xenu someday just to piss them off.

Check out this picture:


Anyone else see a problem here with this picture? I do.
The problem? In this picture Tommy-boy appears taller than his dumbass wife.
Tiny Tom is 5' 7"
Tom's wife is 5'9" (according to Wikipedia; 5'8" according to a Google search)
My question is this: is CruiseShip wearing platform shoes or something? Why is his ass taller than hers in this stupid picture? Damn. First these two can't even be honest about their names, now they're deceiving us all about who is taller. I say we just chop their legs off at the knee and make them even. If that won't work, behead them.

Oh no, wait. We can't kill them off because then little baby Suri would be left all alone in this alien-dictated world. What a name. Who the hell names their kid Suri? A couple assholes, that's who. Well I don't know where else I'm going with this. I guess the point is that a) Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes can kiss my ass, b) Scientology is stupid, c) Tom Cruise is shorter than his wife, contrary to the picture they want you to see, d) celebrities always name their kids something dumb, and e) being a celebrity doesn't make you shit- you and your overhyped, unimportant wedding can go to hell. Or Massachusetts- since that's the only place gay marriage is allowed (presently) and we all know Tom Cruise is gay (hey, Katie Holmes could be a man). Maybe that's why he got married in Italy! Wait...if gay marriage is what he based his decision of location for his wedding on, shouldn't he have gone to France then? Bah...

Bullshit.

New Jersey: The Shit State

You know what's worse than New York, California, Florida, Mexico, and France combined? Nothing. But New Jersey is damn close. Really though, New Jersey is America's landfill- just look at the trash that lives there. The best thing to come out of New Jersey (other than my girlfriend, indirectly) is Bon Jovi. It's pretty shitty when the best thing to come out of a state is a hair metal band.

New Jersey sucks, we should just wipe it off the map. That place is a shit stain on the face of the U.S.

It's no wonder the air is so filthy in NJ, look what kind of shit lives there. Hell...Camden, New Jersey was named "America's Most Dangerous City" in 2004 and 2005. That just goes to show the quality of life in the Asshole of America, aka New Jersey. Thankfully everyone there is dying or something because it was only ranked at #3 on the dangerous cities list in 2006.

The Bloodhound Gang wrote a song about New Jersey on their album "Hooray for Boobies" that showcases New Jersey in all its greatness. The song is titled "The 10 Best Things About New Jersey" and consists of ten seconds of silence. Couldn't have said it better myself.

I saw a great idea in one of my friends' AIM profile. It said "put this [message] in your profile if you think we should just blow up New Jersey and give Pennsylvania a beach." Hot damn! Sounds good to me. Although the beach would be among the worst in the world since it would be made out of the remains of New Jersey. Maybe we can put criminals there. Wait, wait, nevermind. All the criminals are already out there. You see? There's no making this place any better.

I hate New Jersey. I could go on and rant some more about it, but I think I'd rather use a razor-edged staple remover to pluck my eyes out than think about this place any more than I already have.
All this thinking about it, I got dumber in the process of writing this. Appreciate it you bastards.

Equality my ass.

Have I slipped into an alternate dimension? A dimension where I'm forced to live in pre-Civil War America? An America where racism runs rampant and is ignored quite blatantly? No, of course I haven't slipped into such a dimension. Those days were far worse in terms of racism, however I have to wonder what ever happened to true equality and unity between people.

Now before I start off, I'd like to (as usual) make it known that I am not a racist. If you think I AM a racist, please email me so that I can personally tell you to kiss my ass. Thank you. Now let's begin.

Last week here at Penn State Harrisburg, we had what was called "club fest." It was basically an event where various clubs here from school set up tables in the main plaza of campus to try to recruit people and whatnot. And since it earned me credit in my First Year Seminar course, I attended the event and browsed through the clubs that were there. The one that sparked my interest the most (and not because I wanted to join it), was a club exclusively for black students here at Penn State Harrisburg. Am I the only one with my head out of my ass enough to see something wrong here? Sounds like a racist organization to me. But first let's define racism.

Racism is defined as "Discrimination or prejudice based on race" by the American Heritage Dictionary. Okay, now let's examine further. Since I can't recall the name of the club offhand, we're going to refer to it as the Black Students Club (BSC). The BSC is a club exclusively for African-American students here at Penn State Harrisburg, thus any other race is denied entrance into this club. Denying someone entrance into an establishment due to their race is discrimination. The BSC denies membership based on race- thus, they are discriminating. According to the dictionary referenced earlier, discrimination based on race is racism. Therefore, the BSC openly practices racism in its recruiting tactics. Sadly, this is overlooked by the Penn State policy that claims to not tolerate bigotry, racism, sexism, discrimination, and all other similar practices. Why is it acceptable for this to go on? I don't mean to make the BSC out to sound like a bunch of hate-filled racists or anything, but the group itself practices racism, whether the members involved realize it or not. And no matter how any of you assholes look at it, the fact remains that this IS racism. Not only that, it is University-sponsored racism.

All this time, groups have been begging for equality -- when and where did the quest for equality turn into a quest for supremacy?

If I were to form a student club here at school called The White Students Club, I'd get shut the hell down faster than I can even imagine. I would be called a skinhead, a racist piece of shit, and a white supremacist. People would tell me to go join the KKK and burn a cross (after which I would kindly tell them to go suck piss). I can only imagine the heat I'd get from people if I made a group like that. Not that I ever would of course, but that isn't the point.

Look, I know that African-Americans were mistreated very very extensively by whites during the earlier years of the United States, but there is nothing I can do about that. Thankfully, times have changed and a lot of racism has been dealt with (yes, I know that racism still goes on, blah blah blah, but not as widely as it did before). Either way, the circumstances of the past absolutely cannot justify the practice of any kind of racism today. That would be like Jews saying that they should be allowed to kill six million Germans for what happened to them in World War II. Anyone can see that is a completely ridiculous idea. This is the same concept.

I don't know where I'm going with this. I guess I just wanted to illustrate the point that there really is no such thing as "equality" when things like this are allowed to go on. Once again, we live in a world of double standards.

Makes me sick.