A letter to myself.

Dear Derek,

Yo, what's ^ brotha? N2M here. Did u watch the Super Bowl? I did n I'm perty pissed. The Super Bowl was Super Bullshit. You know who should have gotten Super Bowl XL's MVP award? The referees! I've never seen such piss-poor officiating in all my life. Fuck the Steelers and all who love them. OMG...

But other than that, how wuz ur weekend? Mine sucked LOL!!! I hate working in the drive-thru @ work cuz of all the ungrateful assholes that I have to put up with. If I'm going to be sick as a dog while taking their orders in a nice, friendly manner, they should at least have the decency to look at me while I'm giving them change and telling them to have a good day. They're lucky I'm not allwed to be as nice to them as they are to me. I'd be kicking some ass.

We played football in the crappy weather on Saturday. And, like, LOL I'm soooooo sore! What's worse yet iz dat we lost. I was soooooo sad --> :( Speaking of which, why am I writing you a note? And y am I saying dumb shit like "LOL" and "OMG" n stuff? This isn't the internet. Maybe it's just me b/c I like reading notes and I'm lonely and tired. Maybe not. Maybe it's cuz Scientology really is the correct religion and Xenu the space alien is planting all of this into my mind. Maybe I'm projecting a conversation with some voice in my head because I have an unexplained, deep-rooted fear of being hollow. Nah, LOL!!! That's sily. It's prolly becuz da chicken did come before da egg. I can't imagine life without opposable thumbs. Turning a doorknob would suck. LOL!!!
I have a song stuck in mah head rite now LOL!!! Itz called "Tearjerker" by Korn. Oh, and "Open Up" by Korn is stuck in mah head 2 HA-HA! I should be paying attention to calculus rite now instead uv writing mahself a note. I feel like shit.

I need to put gas in my car =( <------ LOL I love emoticons!

My mom wants me to apply for a scholarship that I don't want. It's for people who have, or have parents who have Multiple Sclerosis (MS). I don't want to obe rewarded for my mom having a crippling disease that is my fault. That's sooooooo not kool LOL!!!

This is one long-ass note, especially since I'm writing it to/for myself. Oh well, LOL!!! At least I'm not a vegetarian =) And I kind of wish I had a pet bird so that when I get pissed I can rattle its cage and watch it flap around crazily as it tries to peck me and squawk really loudly. OMG, that'd be sooooo ooooo oooooo kool LOL!!! LOL...I'm a bad person and that makes me a sad panda =(

This is where I sign off. Sometimes people write "love" before they sign their notes and letters, but let's face it: Derek, I don't love you.

Sadly yours,
-Derek